As bird flu spreads across parts of the country, Oklahoma residents are turning not to the CDC—but to Christ.
With poultry prices rising and hens dropping like flies, faith leaders across the state are calling on flock-owners to turn to the only force stronger than antibiotics: divine poultry intervention.
“The Lord can beat any antibiotic, any vaccine, any viral load,” said Father Emmett Briggs, pastor at Holy Roost Parish outside Broken Arrow. “We’ve seen chickens recover through prayer alone. Lay hands. Speak life. Anoint the beak.”
We’ve compiled five of the most powerful poultry-specific prayers being used in rural congregations across eastern Oklahoma—and one bonus prayer for egg overproduction.
1. The Cluck of Life Prayer (For Immediate Recovery)
Oh Lord of feathers and grace,We lift up Henrietta who coughs and stares into space.
Clear her lungs, dry her comb,Make her immune system a holy home.Let the mucus flee and the tail feathers rise—She shall peck again before sunrise.
Amen.
2. Prayer of the Sacred Coop (For Protection)
Bless this coop and all within,From viral strain and pathogen sin.Let no hawk or flu come near,Let every squawk be full of cheer.We plead the blood—not of chicken, but of Christ.Fence them in with light, not lice.
Amen.
3. The Binding of the Fowl Spirit (For Aggressive, Possibly Possessed Hens)
To the hen who pecks her sisters and shuns the nesting box,We cast out the fowl spirit of chaos and coop tox.You shall lay and not fight, you shall cluck and not bite.In Jesus’ name, your beak be calmed.No demon shall ride this Rhode Island Red.
Amen.
4. The Molt Intercession (For Feathers and General Dignity)
Lord, as our beloved hen molts and looks like a plucked sinner,
Restore her beauty, make her a poultry winner.Let no child gasp at her patchy shame.Make her new, in feather and in name.
Amen.
5. Prayer of the Fiery Egg Revival (BONUS: For Egg Overproduction)
O Lord of multiplication, hear this cry.We need more eggs—fried, scrambled, poached, and high.Bless these hens with productive hips,Let yolks pour forth from their blessed chicken lips.Let neighbors weep at our harvest cart,For we shall sell dozens from our holy mart.
Amen.
Father Briggs warns against putting blind faith in modern medicine alone:
“You can inject a chicken, but you can’t inject hope. Only the Holy Spirit can clear a bird’s sinuses. Pfizer may cure the body. But prayer cures the flock.”
Local feed stores are now offering free prayer cards with each bag of layer pellets. A woman in Muskogee claims her entire flock of 13 miraculously recovered after reciting the “Cluck of Life” prayer over an MP3 speaker three times daily.
As Oklahoma stares down another season of sickness, one thing is clear:
When science fails, the sanctuary stands.
And when your hen starts sneezing—don’t panic. Just get on your knees.