LOS ANGELES, CA —
President Donald Trump has announced plans to deploy the “Trump Avengers” to Los Angeles after watching Captain America: Civil War, mistakenly believing it was a documentary about the actual Civil War.
According to White House staff, Trump had asked to watch a film to better understand American history and selected the Marvel blockbuster because “it looked the most patriotic.”
“I wanted to learn about the Civil War,” said the president.
“Captain America seemed like me a lot. That’s the kind of leadership we need.”
Despite multiple advisors clarifying that the Avengers are fictional characters from comic books and movies, Trump remains adamant that the film is based on true events and insists that their methods are what the country needs.
“They say they’re not real. But if they’re not real, why are there six movies? That’s more than Lincoln,” Trump reportedly said during a press briefing.
He has since proposed the creation of a national “Trump Avengers” team, which he will oversee personally, to respond to what he calls “radical left chaos” in urban areas. The initiative will be funded, in part, by defunding art programs that “never made anyone fly.”
White House officials are scrambling to manage the fallout, with several aides describing the situation as “emotionally exhausting.”
Meanwhile, critics argue this is just another distraction tactic during a time of civil unrest, but supporters are already donning makeshift costumes and sharing memes under the hashtag #TrumpAvengersAssemble.
The Oklahoma Gaslight will continue monitoring developments as the nation braces for whatever cinematic misunderstanding may come next.
