TULSA —

Following the severe storms early this morning, the National Weather Service in Tulsa announced that due to funding shortages, they will be unable to go out and assess the damage of the storm.

“Our funding was cut so short we can barely afford to pay our existing employees,” says Johnathan Storm, NWS spokesperson,
“Since we can’t send anyone out to assess the damage, we will have to pray and ask the Holy Spirit to let us know what the rating should be on the tornado.”

This prayer based tactic won’t only apply to damage surveys, it will also be the standard forecasting procedure, says meteorologist April Showers,

“We just can’t afford to have a team of forecasters anymore. The models that we have to use now are outdated and inaccurate, but we can’t afford the new ones. So, all I can do is pray and ask God where or when storms will be passing through Oklahoma.”

The move has taken harsh criticism from many across the county, saying that the system is
“dangerous,”
“unscientific,” and
“against every sound meteorological principle.”

Despite the critics, Tulsa native Andy Goodman says that he is completely behind the new measure,

“You can’t trust those computer models anyway. They are demonic. I am glad the NWS is moving towards a faith based forecasting system. I hope that air traffic control will take their example and move to a faith based system as well. We need to stop relying on technology and start relying on Jesus.”